Bar Demon

There were several attractive, well-dressed men and a few women around the bar at Sheldon's Pub, and one man by himself at one of the tables. The man at the table was dressed in pants that exceeded the length of his legs, and the cuffs touched the floor. His shirt was decorated with some holes, rips, and ketchup and bulged around his stomach. Thin, straggly hair topped a head with bulging eyes and fat lips.

When a single voluptuous redhead walked in, the single men at the bar turned around to shine wide grins at her while taking in her beauty.

No one was more surprised than Ken, the man at the table, when she sat down next to him and asked if she could get him a drink. The best the stunned Ken could do was mumble, “Uh, I would like another beer if that’s OK.”

The woman told Ken, “Hi Ken, I’m Kelly, a night demon. Glad to meet you.” Ken, who had never seen Kelly before, gawked at the night demon. Kelly ignored that and signaled for a couple of beers.

After they had their beers, Kelly said, “OK, how about we go to your place for a good time?” Ken had never had a good time. He had not had any sex since some popular girls had fumbled with him in the back seat of a car and then laughed at him and then told everybody how clumsy and bad he was.

Ken’s hope for a change in fortune outweighed his fear of a repetition of his high school experience, and they took his car to his apartment. Once there, Kelly pulled down Ken’s pants and proclaimed, “Wow, that’s great for a human. I know that you don’t understand any of this; I should explain. I said I’m a night demon. We are beings that only exist at night and live to bring sexual healing to deserving humans. We have magical powers, which you will shortly experience. You probably don’t believe any of this, so I’ll have to prove it. I know what your perfect woman looks like, and I’ve attempted to replicate that, but could you imagine any way I could be improved?”

Ken stared at Kelly for quite a while and then said, “I’ve always loved the look of a big woman, but, ah, you might be a little much.” Kelly removed all of her clothes, and as Ken continued to watch, she slightly but visibly got a little smaller in all dimensions.

For brief moments, Ken appeared catatonic and then broke out in a wide smile. The part that Kelly had praised before gave her body a long-standing salute.

Kelly told him, “Oh, I don’t want to waste that,” and dragged him to his bed. After they were in bed, she continued, “If you don’t mind, I’m an expert at this, and I’ll lead.” Ken was still open-mouthed and just nodded yes.

She mounted him and began a rhythmic massage of his penis. In order to prolong the activity, she sped up and slowed down as necessary, but after ten minutes, Ken let loose with a load that would have been a world record if such things were recorded. Kelly praised him: “Those girls that teased you didn’t know what they missed when they didn’t treat you right. With your talent, you could have been a literal big man on campus. Ready for a second round?”

“Give me a few minutes. I don’t want to miss out on anything after all those dry years.”

With Kelly leading, they went through cowgirl and a few other positions until Ken was exhausted.

Kelly told him when they were relaxing afterwards, “We can do this again, but I will also give you a list of some women who want a man like you, who may not look perfect but is a hero in bed. There’s a tailor who can get you better dressed, a dietitian for your health, and a workout guy for your body. You won’t have to pay; all of them owe me big time for what I’ve done for them.”

Ken just nodded through the speech. After what had happened, he just went along with whatever Kelly said.

After Kelly left, Ken wondered if he should believe what had just happened. When he came home from his job at Joe’s Garage, he found a list on his table:

Sam Jensen, tailor 555-9087

Jane Kirten, dietician 555-8756

Joe Blak, trainer 555-4367

Women looking for a hero

Jean 555-2865

Mary 555-9328

Karen 555-4326

I’ll be in touch. If you want to see me, knock on your coffee table five times.

Ken saw all of them over the next couple of months. Sam got him all new clothes, including a couple of suits. They bonded over Kelly. Sam had just gotten over a bad divorce, and Kelly got him back on the right track. He learned from Jane that Kelly swung both ways and how to cook great meals rather than living on burgers and coffee. With Joe, he found out exercise felt good and ended up doing a hundred pushups a day—not all at once, though.

He liked all of the women, and all of them liked him.  Seeing all of them was wearing, but he ended up with one.  Jean was fixated on an ex, and Karen talked all the time.  Mary was a fascinating person, a good dancer, wrote popular stories, and was always learning.  She was happy to be the keeper.

Ken had not tried to contact Kelly, but she showed up three months after their first contact. Ken thanked her profusely for all the help she had given him. Kelly told him, “Looks like you and Mary are doing great. No need for me.”

Ken said, “Mary and I aren’t even ‘going steady.’ We can see people on the side.”

Kelly’s last visit lasted five hours, with her ten orgasms, his three, and five different positions.