I Am Not Who I Am

How many times have I said this prayer /

how many years unanswered?

When I was a child, I whispered to the moon

pretending it was my friend - telling him

my secret—a secret I could not tell the sun.

My two brothers were much older than I.

They broke their shackles and fled home—

never looking back.

My father told me—in the old country

they cut off the tips of cats’ tails

& buried them in the backyard—

believing it kept the cat from roaming.

My brothers’ tails had not been cut. 

I wanted what I could not have—

only the moon knew my desires.

I pulled the curtain around myself

& surrounded myself in darkness.

I learned from my father well.

I could not be what I was not,

so, I learned to be who I was.

I played the game I was taught.

I have strayed far from my backyard—

never looking back.