SLURPITUDE

Enough of all this pursed lip tasting

Think of all the time you’re wasting

So go for it, give all drinks a pasting

Down in one gulp then several more

To get your money’s worth, be sure

It is only reflecting a thirsty aptitude

That swilling wine around the mouth

Checking winery was North or South

Behaving as if you’re just like Gandalf

By waving that hand around in the air

And trying to pretend you really care

Unacceptable, with a moral terpitude

Just drink, it is still an open invitation

None will bother keeping information

And it is supposed to be a celebration

They recognise I have an empty glass

And true to form, end up on my arse

I have coined a new word, slurpitude