Wild Bill the Floating Ladies

Trimming trees with Bill was crazy fun. He built a cherry picker on the back of an old garbage truck. The extending arm folded three times over the cab and entire truck. None of the crew had the guts to work with him. Bill was like an irrational gorilla jumping up and down as he steered the trimming bucket into the upper branches of some very tall trees. We each had two chainsaws, a twelve-pack of beer, and plenty of weed for smoke breaks. We would get our gear in the bucket and unbend the arms. The truck squealed and screeched into the wild blue yonder.

Bill was a fourth-generation dairy farmer on the Wolf River, just outside of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. In the summer, the five of us would take canoes down the river, stopping at every tavern along the way. We’d be too drunk to fish, and we’d all sleep in his dad’s barn.

Winter ice fishing was excellent. We’d drill holes in the ice and set out tip ups, baiting them with fat minnows. A tip up is a spring-loaded device with a metal flag that sits on the ice, and when fish take the bait, you slide to the waving flag. Looking through the ice, you see which way the line is leading. You get on the opposite side and pull the line and fish in. Most of the time, the fish is a northern pike, muskellunge, or walleye. All these types of fish have extremely sharp teeth, even in to the gills. The only way to pull them from the icy hole, is stick your finger and thumb in their eyes.

Bill and I each had six tip ups set out and were catching lots of fish. We had two barrels with fires inside and we were cooking fish and partying. From somewhere, we heard women yelling. We looked up and this hot air balloon sat down gently on the ice with three pretty ladies and a guy. We had some pleasurable fun all afternoon. We gave them some fish and brewskis for their glide home.